The drama of the separated parents in quarantine: “It served my ex as one more excuse to prevent me from contacting my daughter”

Fernando Torres has been separated from his daughter’s mother (8) for five years. The first two passed without conflict since in mediation they agreed to a shared tenure and to bear the expenses in equal parts. But everything got complicated when she denounced him – falsely, as justice has already proven – for hitting the minor and the litigation was further exacerbated when the mother decided to move from the City of Buenos Aires to Quilmes and change her school without her consent, earlier this year. In addition, as he said, He used the coronavirus pandemic as one more excuse to prevent contact with the minor due to “not being authorized” to take her from her home during the quarantine.

That kind of judicial “limbo” that reigned during the first month of isolation forced many parents to stop seeing their children for fear of breaking the law and they had to settle for phone calls or video calls.

It is that, at first, Resolution 132/2020 issued by the National Secretariat for Children, Adolescents and Family of the Ministry of Social Development of the Nation established that minors should comply with confinement in the home that functions as their “center of life ”and that they could only be moved once, without the possibility of alternation.

“Although the picture is already clearer, my ex still has doubts about whether or not I should take her”, lamented Fernando, who four weeks ago had no physical contact with his daughter.

The girl’s mother makes an excuse that “is prohibited” this transfer despite the modifications that the initial resolution had and the Provisional Communication Regime issued by the Court 4 of CABA that authorizes him to be with the minor every Saturday. The arrangement would be that he picks her up from his mom’s house after noon, shares with her all afternoon, and returns her to the home six hours later.

“I was dismissed in all the false complaints that my ex made to me and she is now charged with an impediment of contact in the CABA Northern Prosecutor’s Office and for judicial disobedience, then having moved the child to Quilmes in January when the judge prohibited him. Last week, in addition, I filed a new complaint at the ninth police station in Quilmes for disobeying the last ministerial resolution issued by the quarantine, “Fernando told Infobae.

But while she waits for the justice to listen to her claims and take her time to issue a ruling, the weekends go by without being able to see her and her despair increases. “All the little I achieved I had to ask for in court. It’s crazy, but they give me so few weapons to defend my paternity that I do what I can with what they give me. My daughter always tells me that she wants to be with me. And that is evident in all the statements he made and the expert opinions requested by the justice, ”he remarked.

Unlike Fernando, there are other parents who do avoid their responsibilities and they cling to quarantine in order not to fulfill their obligations. Although it may seem incredible, a woman had to resort to Buenos Aires justice so that they could alternate the care of their daughters under the age of 10 in a pandemic because she was overwhelmed and stressed by having them every day with her.

The father only related to the girls by video conference and argued that he could not see them for fear of infecting them from Covid-19. The mother had to explain to Judge Adrián Hagopián, from Court No. 4 of CABA, that her daughters were distressed at not seeing him and she, overwhelmed by care, work and housework.

Finally, the magistrate ordered the father to go back to alternating the care of his daughters with the mother – three and four nights each each week – while the compulsory quarantine and school recess last.

Hagopian is the same judge in the Fernando Torres case. So he says: “I would like to ask (the magistrate) what is the point of litigating for years, that all the rulings be in my favor, and that then compliance with the resolutions is not guaranteed because the defendant is a woman?”, In reference to the peremptory ruling that he gave four days ago in defense of another woman.

According to data from the Argentine Grouping of Relatives for Children (AAFANI), an organization promoting equal shared custody of children of separated couples and fighting against linkage obstruction, One million people across the country are currently prevented from seeing their children through complaints of all kinds.

“In 2019 we revealed that 15 complaints were filed, the majority for psychological, economic and physical violence. And of that total, only 5% of the cases were confirmed with a final judgment, ”Adrian Marcelo Alfaro, a member of AAFANI, told Infobae, based on data collected from the Observatory of Domestic Violence of CABA and various provincial organizations.

Among the automatic responses that people outside of this problem tend to give, explains Fernando, is that “it is a few weeks, or a few months, wait and then you see him, ignoring that quarantine for many of us takes years Now. ”In this context, he said that they started a campaign on the networks with the hashtag #NoMasHijosRehenes quarantined.

Alfaro also clarified that the struggle of this organization “It is not done from a gender perspective but rather focusing on the rights of the child” So much so that, in addition to fathers, the organization brings together many mothers and even grandmothers who are prevented from seeing their children and grandchildren, respectively.

One of them is Liliana, who preferred not to give her last name to preserve the identity of her two daughters, 11 and 16 years old. “They haven’t lived with me for three years. The father alleged that I had mental insanity and that it was violent to take them from my house. And she took advantage of the natural rivalry that occurred with my oldest daughter in adolescence, who was 13 at the time, to turn her against me.“He related.

Everything was unleashed when she began to demand an update of the food quota. “The more he claimed and the more he reduced my financial aid. Imagine that I had to put my car to work in a remisería to be able to cover the expenses and then I had to move from Pilar to Capital in order to continue giving them the lifestyle they were used to. I couldn’t stop working ”, he highlighted with a bit of guilt.

Overcome by the situation, discussions with her older daughter became frequent and on one occasion she slapped her face. That earned him a complaint and that the girls ended up living with him.

“In order not to go to trial, I took charge of my actions and agreed to do a probation -which consisted of psychological therapy- which I already completed”, Explained Liliana, who since August of last year has been requesting a communication regime with her daughters before the courts, but has not yet prospered “Because he doesn’t show up to any of the audiences.”

When the woman found out that at the end of last year her ex had decided to move from Tigre to the Federal Capital, she began a campaign to find out which school she would send the girls to so that she could meet them again.

“The last summons in court was on March 11 and it was not presented either. So on Friday the 13th, which was the last day of school before quarantine, I went to school and the managers allowed me to see my youngest daughter for half an hour because they had no legal impediment to deny me contact with her. ”he assured.

Today, with the validity of the mandatory isolation and without many weapons to continue fighting, accepted the mediation of a rabbi to pave the way for communication with your daughter.

“I asked for the rabbi of our community to intervene and, thanks to him, who triangulated a conference call with my daughter, we were able to speak again last Monday. So I am tied to the times of a third party to be able to have contact with herLiliana resigned herself, who at the moment does not know where her daughters live: she learned that they moved again in the middle of their quarantine.

Written by Argentina News

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